This is getting serious

Hahaha and here I am once again! Excuse the manic laugh, I'm not cracking up honestly. I'm back, post number three, a veteran of the blogosphere! Add that one to the list of Fancy Dan terms I can use related to the intermaweb! Who is Fancy Dan anyway? probably a mate of Flash Harry in my opinion, sounds like the two could be friends doesn't it? If you are confused at this point don't worry, an explanation will come in due course.

But first, back to me being a blogging veteran. It's like going out with a girl, the first date you're a little reticent, not sure how things will pan out, so you lay the groundwork a bit, get through the pleasantries and leave things quite open at the end. Blog #1.

Then on the second date you're a bit more yourself, you show off a little bit, show her how great you are, preen your feathers and get a bit cocky. Blog #2.

Then, if you make it to the third date the gloves are off, anything goes and you both know it. Blog#3.

By the way, it has just dawned on me that I'm comparing dating a girl to using the Internet. That's really quite dangerous territory, how long before I close the curtains, get addicted to caffeine rich drinks and stop socialising altogether in favour of the virtual online world?! Maybe I should stop at three blogs, that's better than one or two and we can both walk away with our sanity intact, right? Well, I could, but where is the fun in that?!

So, moving swiftly on...here I am again and still nothing interesting to say. I had a thought the other day that maybe I could use this blog to air my views on various topics in life, and that given my obvious wit and intelligence my blog would become some kind of Internet cult craze with people emailing each other my latest hilarious update. Then I reread my second blog and remembered that 75,000 people a day start a blog, and the chance of people stumbling across mine and telling their friends about it is fairly slim at best. Still, we can all dream.

I may do it anyway though, start some kind of regular update thing where I tackle one topic at a time, and who knows, a clever marketing ploy or two and I may yet get my 15 minutes!

Right, back to the important stuff, Fancy Dan was a character in a marvel comic whose name became synonymous with all things fancy. And Flash Harry was a character in St Trinnians, a cockney cheeky chappy always on the make. Well that's one theory anyway, the other is that the name derives from the Harry Flashman character in Tom Brown's school days, later given his own starring role by George McDonald Fraser in the Flashman books, who by all accounts was a bit of a cad. Either way, that's where the expressions come from. Everyday's a school day with me.

Ok, until tomorrow then...

Bollocks

There I was, all smug with my glass of wine and comfy slippers, thinking that my decision to join the interweb blog craze singled me out as some kind of revolutionary, albeit a slightly tardy revolutionary admittedly. However, apparently I am not alone in my decision, indeed each day around 75,000 people decide to create a blog. Bugger. And, if my casio is on the ball, that equates to about 1 per second. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. That's six more right there. Although I reckon its a fairly safe bet that of those 75,000 new bloggers the vast majority, let's say 74,000 ish, post no more than a couple of updates before losing interest. That said, I'd better make sure I post a few more updates before becoming just another statistic. By the way, if 75,000 people create a blog each and every single day, it will take over 200 years for every single man, woman and technologically advanced newborn to have a blog. However, as with all such forecasts and calculations, the result is dependent on the number of people in the world remaining constant over that period as well as the number of people starting a blog each day. Now, just before you fall asleep let me tell you that neither is likely. Global population is at the whim of a number of factors and likely to fluctuate wildly over the next 200 years, and it could quite easily be argued (by people with beards who fear daylight and know about such things) that in 200 years the intermaweb will have been replaced by something even more complicated and inexplicable. Or maybe not. I just don't know. And like you, dear reader, I don't really care.

Oh, by the way in case you're wondering this blog has no particular theme or topic, and I think its probably more than fair to say that it wont be the most linear, logical or organised blog on the web. It may tend to cover a number of topics at once, or indeed as is more likely, none at all. but that's the point, right? Nobody who has a blog has anything interesting to say.

Wrong! I have found a solution to the current pensions crisis! What pensions crisis I hear you say in your heads while sitting in front of your computer screen many miles away?! The one where basically if current socio-demographic trends continue, ie people keep living longer and having less kids, by the time we retire there will be nothing in the pot for us. Welllll, it's quite simple really. According to the latest figures (and yes I do have too much time on my hands) some 700,000 children are clinically obese. That's quite a lot. And that's just the clinically obese, not to mention the very fat, the rotund, the McSupersized, the big boned and those with "water retention" issues. Obesity reduces life expectancy by up to five years, which means that, deep breath, although the number of people in active employment is falling, the number of people expected to reach pensionable age is falling too, possibly quicker, so the pensions crisis that looms at the moment may turn out to be the millennium bug of the future. Add to that the fact that retirement age is set to rise to 70 years of age for those born within the last 12 years and I think my smug face has just returned. Although, and I feel I should get this point across at an early stage, I may be wrong, don't bet your house on it.

On that light note, hasta luego.

Here we go...

Yes finally, in the Chinese year of the pig I have decided that maybe it is time I try out this here intermaweb. However, as I'm neither a goth nor desperate for friends, myspace it is not, but rather the classic, and admittedly somewhat outdated, blog that has enticed me into the realms of the digital world. Notice that I'm already au fait with the jargon, intermaweb and blog indeed!

Right, as things stand not much to report at the moment, this blog being somewhat in its infancy. Needless to say things will change and I will eventually start to write, or indeed 'post' some stuf on here. Quite what is hard to say, so i hope the suspense isn't too much for you.

'Till next we meet...

TC