If I ruled the world...

This is the first of a new series of posts. I began with the "My thoughts on..." a while ago, and i will pick that up again shortly, either with a piece about Gordon Brown or America, haven't decided yet; and obviously there's also the series of posts about my travels, but I think for now that needs a little rest!

So, if I ruled the world...

I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but every now and then I think to myself "If I ruled the world, I would change...."

I'm not for one minute staking a claim to become king of the world or whatever (cool as it may sound), but I thought I would share a few of my random thoughts on a regularish basis with you, now that I officially have over 30 readers (according to Mr Google!)....

So, I was in the hairdresser earlier. Not literally obviously, that would be plain wrong, I only wanted a haircut, and I know for a fact that my mum reads this, so moving swiftly on.
So, I walked in, the place looked nice enough, if a tad quiet, and within a minute I was reclining into one of those seats where they wash your hair at the most unnatural angle known to man, with water that is never the right temperature even though you always say it is. Anyway, this wasn't an ordinary chair, it was a massage chair, and after a minute I ignored the cold water and long nails of the person washing my hair and started to relax.

When I awoke, I was asked to move across to the chair by the mirror, and the haircut began. Now, it was at about this time that I was asked if I want coffee. Fine, yes please, I like coffee. But I couldn’t help thinking that as far as timing goes, it could have been better. If someone is standing behind you with either scissors or a set of clippers in hand, the last thing you really want to do is lean forward and drink coffee. Particularly while wearing one of those short sleeved straight jacket numbers that hairdressers love. Also, they always put the cup just out of reach, so you can’t even subtly have a mouthful (sorry mum) on the sly. So, if I ruled the world.....hairdressers would stop to let you drink, or simply serve coffee at a better time!

Second thing I noticed, and its hardly groundbreaking, is that hairdressers the world over, well Western Europe anyway, talk like their mouths will seize up if they don't. My hairdresser today was no different, even when I told her I didn't understand her (I did, I just didn’t want to encourage her), that just set her off talking about England, and foreigners, and elephants, and nuclear fission, and the sex life of amoebas and...Well to be honest I wasn't listening so I can’t be sure what she said. But, my point is, they always ask the same questions, so if I ruled the world, everyone would be equipped with a sign for use in the hairdressers,

"No I am not going anywhere nice on holiday.
No I do not watch Big Brother.
No I do not give a shit about Paris Hilton.
No I do not want to buy any of your over priced products."

And, in my particular case today, "No, I do not want to look like a cross between Dolph Lundgren and 80s pop star Limahl, so get the scissors back out of the drawer and start again"

Bis bald....